Dr. Justin Garcia is the Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, making him the undisputed heavyweight of human sexuality. This book is a high-octane review of the latest data on why we do what we do behind closed doors and sometimes… open windows.

The core thesis: humans are hardwired to crave both sexual connection and deep intimacy as essential biological needs. Why else would someone drop $20,000 for a "girlfriend experience" at a brothel or spend their whole life trying to find their soulmate? Notably, humans can live healthy lives with minimal or no sexual activity, but a lack of intimacy can be very dangerous to your health and deadly in many circumstances.

Garcia makes the large amount of coitus and cuddling stats in this text accessible by weaving in personal stories that keep the narrative from feeling like a dry lab report. While the book leans into data mostly derived from heteronormative Western subjects, Garcia is transparent about those limits.  That being said, there is a fair amount about same-sex relationships and alternative relationship configurations, including less formal arrangements (fuck buddies) and multi-partner configurations. He does skip over asexuals, who still crave a lot of intimacy (A-sexuals unite!).

Balancing intimate needs and erotic desire is a high-wire act that most humans have to navigate, but nailing it can make life worth living. Who doesn’t want better cuddling and the feeling of being known, understood, and fully accepted by another person? Pair that with the chemical rollercoaster of a heavy O and the excitement of drowning in reciprocal desire? Sign us up.

Garcia is an honest narrator—he admits what science knows and where there is still much more science to do. He's the kind of guy who spends just as much time in the lab as he does in sex clubs and swingers parties. This is a good book to read if you want the latest on human sexuality. Some of us wished he had dived more into the details, but we also acknowledge that’s what the studies from the Kinsey Institute are for. If you want to understand sexuality or intimacy better, we recommend it.

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